What “skills” Do Children Of Divorce Miss Out On?
I am a child of divorce and everyone says that even though we see we will never get divorced, we almost always do.
I don’t understand what I’m missing…
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Comments
Children of divorce can survive just fine if (and this is a big IF) it’s handled correctly. All you have to do is read through this family section to see the mistakes people make.
The kids should be told over and over that this has nothing to do with them. They should also be told that each parent still loves them (even if one is a moron or is absent). People have different ways of showing love, and it never helps a little kid to be told his Dad is a jerk by the person who chose him in the first place.
Kids should never be used as a pawn. Parents that do this deserve what happens when these poor kids hit their late teens and are total headcases. The adults made the mess and it’s on them to fix it without dragging the kids into it.
And the main custodial parent should understand priorities, meaning the kids come first. Sure, at some point they’d date again, but early on it’s extremely selfish and just one more adjustment the kids have to make. Always reinforce how important they are. Once they’re a bit older, start dating but never drag an assortment of BF/GF into their lives. If you meet the right one, that’s when you plan a family.
The kids I know from this type of divorce are fine; the others aren’t. It’s all in how it’s handled.
dont’ personally know what YOU’RE missing, but I would think being able to solve problems without running away;; take a look @ all the teens that want & think they should run away from one parent to another just cuz of a disagreement, or just cuz they didn’t get there way, or just cuz, dad went crazy one day;; or whatever;; but I would think they learn from their parents experiences & would find it much easier to “run”.. could change that response though, by teaching yourself to stick with things in spite of the fact they get a little hard… that’s just what I see, opinion, may not be fact!!
Problem solving, compromise, stability.
It’s a fact that more children of divorce get divorced and more children of parents who stayed married stay married. Not that staying in an abusive relationship is the right thing to do…i’m just saying.
they miss seeing what a loving marriage is like. It took me leaping into my marriage to believe in it again.
I think u miss out on seeing wat a healthy marrage is and wat it should b like. instead u see wat most marrages turn out to b and when ur marrage is in troble instead of fixing it, they just think “o its not that big of a deal this kind of stuff happens all the time” instead of thinking “o how could this have happened? i need to fix this, and communicate, we need some counceling” do u see wat i mean, they think its normal. Another think is u may think if i could have lived and grew up fine with divored parents, my kids can too.