How To Help Children Through Divorce?

One of the hardest parts of a divorce when children are involved is trying to explain the entire process to them. While explaining as much as possible is generally a good idea, in terms of divorce it can actually be a very bad idea.
For example, you should never explain to your children especially young children that you are divorcing because your spouse cheated on you or was abusive. This can lead to problems between the parent and child, as well as could even cause problems in your own relationship with the child. While it may seem dishonest to not tell your child all of the details, it is not. You are simply avoiding telling the children all of the details. There is no reason for your child to know all of the details.
Especially important to avoid discussing with your child is the details of the child support order. Children do not need to feel as if they are being purchased by the payment of child support, they should also not be aware of missed payments because they could begin to feel resentment towards the other parent. In talking to your children about divorce, often less information is usually better. Even in families where there is generally very open discussion about issues, keeping some information from the children is usually better.

Be real with them, speak to them on their own level about their feelings, concerns, and keep open communication. Have family sharing time, so that they can express themselves..the emotional stresses of divorce run high at times, so many changes going on..love them, support them, keep to a good routine of things.

Please, make sure you have a good reason that you two are divorcing for and always talk to them and listen to them! Make sure they keep in close contact with their father and always spend time with them! This would be really hard for your kids to cope with so make sure you listen to them and that you (and the father!) are there for them in the process of having a divorce!
If this divorce is over something silly then it’s best to kiss and make up! Because one day you might regret it and there might not be no going back
Please, just think about it! My parents were on the brink of getting divorced and I had never been so upset and hurt in my life. The constant arguing just wrecked me!

1. Dont give them details. Just a simple explanation of how things are going to be.
2. Constantly reassure them you love them and that your spouse loves them too. Kids get crazy thoughts and dont tell you, they think if you can stop loving their other parent you can stop loving them. This isnt the time to ditch on dad either, they need to know he wont stop loving them either.
3. Let your child miss the absent parent and love them too.
4. Dont punish them for acting like a baby or other acting out, this is normal.
5. Dont use the kids to spy on the other parent, or to gather information or to hurt the otherparent.
6. Deal with all the divorce issues privately or in court. Dont tell the kids the details. They have no power over them and it causes them anguish of heart.
7. Keep your rules and limits consistent.
8. Teach them how to show their anger (hit a pillow, write a letter and tear it up etc) Teach them it is ok to cry, they have suffered a loss.
9. Reassure them that they will be safe and taken care of.
http://www.emeryondivorce.com/how_divorce_aff…

I’ve spent 20 years working with divorced and single fathers. What makes you think you would be any more successful than anyone else?
I think the clearest defining point of the possible problem can be taken from crime stats. Over 80% of those committing violent crimes, did not have the biological father in the home growing up. This connection is greater than race or poverty. Consider that when you watch the evening news.
Stanford University
Divorce, Nontraditional Families, and Its Consequences For Children
“We know that children of divorced parents have more emotional and behavioral problems and do less well in school than children who live with both their……….”http://www.stanford.edu/~rmahony/Divorce…
Fatherless America : Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problemhttp://search.barnesandnoble.com/Fatherl…
If you really feel it necessary to get a divorce, give the children custody of you instead of the reverse.
BIRD NEST CUSTODY
It’s a form of access or custody where the children stay in the former family residence and it is the parents who rotate in and out separately and on a negotiated schedule.
The children simply live at “home” and the separated or divorced parents take turns living with them there, but never at the same time.
The core element of this arrangement is that each parent maintains a separate residence where they live when it is not their turn at the “bird’s nest”. When one parent arrives for his/her designated time, the other vacates right away, so as to minimize or eliminate the presence of both at the same time.
At times, bird’s nest access can be coupled with specified access with the other parent say, for example, for dinner one night a week.
Sometimes, this form of access or custody will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority at which time, one parent either buys the other out of their interest, if any, in the former family residence, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.
The arrangement can be expensive as it generally requires that three separate residences be maintained, the “nest” and a separate residence for each parent.
The concept is somewhat novel and appears to have as its origin a Virginia case Lamont v Lamont.
In Canada, Greenough v Greenough was a ground-breaker case in that the Court implemented a bird’s nest custody order even though it had not been asked for by either party. Justice Quinn, in Greenough stated:
“In Lamont … the court made a bird’s nest custody arrangement in which the children (aged 3 and 5 years) remained in the home, with the mother staying in the home during the week and the father on the weekend. I think that the benefits of a bird’s nest order are best achieved where the children are able to stay in the matrimonial home, particularly if it has been the only residence that they have known….
“Time and time again I have seen cases (and this is one) where the children are being treated as Frisbees. In general, parents do not seem to appreciate the gross disruption to which children are subjected where one of the parents has frequent access. In this regard, I do not believe there must be evidence that the children are suffering before the court is free to act. To me, it is a matter of common sense. At the risk of falling prey to simplistic generalities, I am of the view that, given a choice, I do not see why anyone would select a living arrangement which involved so much movement from house to house.”http://tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice

Well, first, I hope you have a REALLY good reason for the divorce to give to them when they grow up and can “understand”.

its Pretty Simple Just Talk to Them and Let them Know Whats Going on and Dont Lie